Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts

Friday, January 2, 2009

RE: The Year Behind and the Year Ahead

2008 was a pretty spectacular year. I think "Change" is definitely the word that best sums up the year for me, my family and my friends, and I'm only slightly referring to the Presidential Election. And I just have a hunch that 2009 is going to bring more change and I'm not nervous or scared. I'm really excited to see what is in store for me and my loved ones, for our Nation, and for my city.

In the past year, I have travelled through a lot of metaphorical peaks and valleys:

  • losing (and re-gaining) over 10% of my weight
  • moving to a new neighborhood and LOVING it
  • then learning that it's super-polluted where I live and I need to drink filtered water
  • but still LOVING it
  • a beautiful and perfect wedding celebration with a man I am so blessed and proud to know and be loved by
  • not to mention some amazing bridal showers, a fun-filled bachelorette party, some quality time with my favorite ladies on Earth, and
  • how could I not mention my fabulous honeymoon in Maui??
  • a loved one's battle with breast cancer and a couple of scares along the way
  • the breaking and mending of some dear friends' hearts
  • a reconciliation of sorts with an ex (and a new pal to boot)
  • a new position at my job
  • believing in who I voted for for the first time in my relatively short adult life
  • a new and exciting relationship between two of my good friends (it started at my wedding!)
  • an amazing beach vacation with my husband's family
  • a period of mild depression
  • the usual colds and flus, and one extraordinary and ill-timed stomach flu
  • new hobbies (and a couple I have let fall by the wayside)
  • mounting debt to a degree I have never before experienced

I'm sure I could think of many more, but my thoughts are spinning fast and I feel I need to move on.

Despite all of the ups and downs, the bumps and bruises, the victories and defeats, I've spent the last days of 2008 and first days of 2009 focusing on the things in my life that are truly great. It is so rare for people to stop in the moment and appreciate what they have. To quote one of my all-time favorite writers and people who have ever walked this Earth, Kurt Vonnegut, Jr., "If this isn't nice, I don't know what is." Some of my favorite things about being me:

  • my new husband
  • my sweet, amazing, joyful dog
  • a challenging job
  • my new neighborhood in Brooklyn (OK, I've lived there almost a year now, but I love it)
  • being surrounded by such a large group of amazing, amazing friends from many walks of life
  • an expanded and loving family
  • the days when I feel great about myself
  • great music
  • girl time
  • living between 2 parks and in walking distance of one of the hippest neighborhoods in NYC (without having to pay enough rent to live there myself)
  • good books
  • delicious brunches with friends
  • coffee and a magazine on the sofa with my husband and dog on a Sunday morning
  • the willingness to learn, forgive, grow, laugh, and support
  • a husband who cleans up after me and helps me remember my apartment keys when I leave for work in the morning, to take my medicine every day, and to pay the bills on time
  • fun and games
  • the Steelers, the Penguins, the Yankees, and Syracuse basketball (not necessarily in that order)

And now, I hate to call them resolutions, but here are some things I'd like to see improve for me in 2009. And it seems inaccurate to say I'm waiting for them to happen, because they pretty much all depend on my own action:

  1. GET IN SHAPE. I've learned from my weight battle that I don't need to be a size 4, and I don't need to weigh less than 120 pounds, but I need to be healthier. And I know that when I practice healthy habits, I just feel better. I have more energy, my self-esteem is better, and yeah, it doesn't hurt for me to look hot in a bathing suit. I think if I just set out to be healthy and feel better, the rest will fall into place. Which leads me to number two...
  2. MAKE MORE TIME FOR ME. Unfortunately, this means I need to make less time for my friends, and I already feel I don't have enough time to see my friends as it is. While I am so blessed to have so many people that I call not only friends, but really good, true, loyal friends, I haven't taken care of myself because I find it so hard to not say yes when I'm asked to do something. Because I truly WANT to spend that time with them, but it leaves me with very little time for me and my husband, and almost no time at all for me, me, me. Speaking of which...
  3. KEEPING THE HONEYMOON ALIVE. All right, everyone stop thinking about SEX. I'm talking about making time and putting forth the effort to keep connected with my husband...making time for us to be alone together and maybe even to get out of the house together from time to time. Being thoughtful. Being patient. Communicating. Being a better partner and chipping in more at home. This hasn't been lacking, but I think there's always room for improvement, and it's too easy to become complacent and let our daily routines absorb us.
  4. DEBT REDUCTION. I know there's very little chance of me being debt-free within a year (and I'm not even counting student loans in that, because I'm pretty sure my own unborn children will be in college before that happens). But I'd really like to see a big chunk of my debt go away and my credit score go up a bit. This is really important, because I want to be a grown-up, move to the burbs, buy a car and a house, and afford children in the next several years, and it all starts here, by simply paying some bills. I already did the hard part and found someone I want to spend the rest of my life with. In comparison, should being frugal and responsible really be so hard??

Those are all pretty big ones, and of course, probably very similar to the goals a lot of people have for themselves. At this point, I don't expect to get it perfect in the next 12 months, but I want to get a good start.

Please share with me your ups and downs, your favorite things about being you, or what you want for 2009!